Leap and the net will appear!

This has always been a motto that has proven effective for me. I have made many jumps into uncertainty with amazing success...but for some reason I'm struggling this time. I don't know if it is because I'm older and I feel like I have more to lose if I smack the ground or if it is because of COVID and that new variable of unknown or maybe just the general unrest that seems to be spreading and the violent disregard people have toward others who don't share their thoughts and views.

I don't know.

I want to be calm and confident but the struggle this time seems more intense. Not that I haven't struggled with this every time I've leapt in the past.

I am reaching out feeling around in the darkness for your presence, support, and encouragement. Sometimes I believe I feel flashes of it but not that deep knowing that brings with it peace and calm. The assurance that everything will be okay.

I'll keep looking. I don't want to hit the earth and break before we've even had the chance to meet and be together.