Coming "Home"

It's weird to be back in the town where I grew up, in those spaces. I do have a nostalgia for it, but at the same time, I am afraid of it...I'm afraid of it sucking me back in and getting stuck and mired in a life like my mothers.

She can't relate to me and my life and I certainly can't relate to hers.

It has been nice to be back at my house. The people living here are taking such good care of it! I got very, very lucky.

Just sitting on the porch tonight talking with them for hours was so nice.

The house has been painted and it looks amazing.

I love the house, I want good things for the house. I want to restore it to what it deserves to be...but I don't know as I ever want to live in it permanently. I want to visit.

I can imagine you sitting on the porch here, holding my hand, maybe with a glass of brandy or scotch...talking with us. I just have this vision of you looking over at me and me wondering what you're thinking. What do you think of this other part of my life? I hope you are understanding and accepting...I know it is strange.

I like the idea of showing you this place and all the parts of it that make me feel nostalgic and all of the parts the pain me and all of the parts that I'm afraid of.